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subtlecluster:

«this compilation was done by the rad folks at genderqueerid.com. Any recs or words are written by them, not me (Aida)»

Last updated April 18, 2014. This list is also available in Tumblr reblog format, which has 8,000+ notes - thanks everyone!

The following are link and book recommendations, all evaluated myself, as helpful resources that relate to genderqueer and non-binary concepts and identities. If there is a resource you would like to suggest, please use the GQID submit form.

     Links:

Genderqueer and Non-Binary Friendly Tumblrs

a-genderall-none-or-inbetweenCloset ProblemscrushingthebinaryDMAB DelightfulFat Genderqueers!The Feminine NeutroisFreedom Centre: FC Yeah!Fuck Yeah Androgyny!Fuck Yeah GenderlessFuck Yeah Gender Studies!fyeahtransfashionthe gender bender agendaThe Gender BookGenderforkrGenderPanicGender QueeriesGenderqueerThe Genderqueer ActivistGenderQueer ConfessionsGenderqueer PlusGenderqueer PositivityGenderqueer PrideGenderQueer ProblemsGendered IntelligenceGénero Queer y No-binario (Spanish), Hell Yeah Agender!KNOW HomoLGBTQ AskslittlenonbinarythingsHeartland Trans* Wellness GroupNeutroisNonbinaryThe Nonbinary ArmyNon-binary ArtistsNonbinary Autistics!Nonbinary ConfessionsnonbinaryheadcanonsnonbinarynerdnonbinaryparentingThe Non-Binary Safe SpaceNonbinary Sexnonbinary-supportNon-OpPractical AndrogynyPride Flags for UsThe Pronoun Learning ResourceQueerabilityQueer DictionarysafequeersexThe Safe Space NetworkSmashing the BinaryThe —- Space!T.R.A.N.S.Transcending AnatomyTransgender Housing NetworkThe Transgender Teen’s Survival GuidetransqueeryTrans* ResourceTrans Student Equality ResourcesTrans*toonsTucking and Other SkillswaryofthebinaryWe Are Gender-Fluid!whatdoesenbymeanygender[queer]

GQ and Non-Binary Friendly Subreddits

r/agenderr/ainbowr/androgynyr/askGSMr/asktransgenderr/crossdressingr/DualGenderr/genderfluidr/genderqueerr/lgbtr/transgenderr/TransSpace

GQ and Non-Binary Friendly Livejournal Communities

AndrogynesBigenderBirlsgender_fluidGenderqueerGirlfags and Guydykes(re)definitionTransgender

GQ and Non-Binary Friendly deviantART Groups

#boob-B-gone#GenderqueerClub#Gender-identity#GBSTA#LGBTQ#transDeviants

Websites and FAQs

Androgyny Rarely Asked QuestionsCrossdreamersGenderforkGenderologyGenderpediaGenderqueer in the UKGenderQueer RevolutionGender SphereGender SplendourHeartland Trans* Wellness GroupNonbinary.orgNon-Op: Another Option (Archived), pipisafoat: FAQ on Genderqueers, Gender Expression, and Gender VariancePractical AndrogynyQueer Lexikon (German), Tipping the ScalesT-VoxWe Happy TransWorld Professional Association for Transgender HealthYGender

Organizations and Events: Click here for a list

Forums and Groups

AVEN: Gender DiscussionGenderQueer Atheists Group on FacebookLast.fm: Genderqueers GroupLaura’s PlaygroundScarleteen: Gender IssuesSteam Community: GenderqueerSusan’s Place#transchatTransYadaTQ NationWhat is Gender?

Identity Sites

Androgyne OnlineBigenderBi-Gender the Bisexual PartnerGirlFags (Archived), Neutrois.comNeutrois Nonsense

Prounouns and Titles

The Art of Transliness: Gender Neutral Relational TermsGender Neutral Pronoun BlogGender Queeries: Gender Neutral/Queer TitlesGenderqueer in the UK: Misc, or Mx: A Gender-neutral TitleMIT’s Ally Toolkit: Gender Neutral Pronoun UsageWarren Wilson: Using Gender-Neutral Language in Academic Writing

Articles: Click here for a list

Fun, Videos, Podcasts, & Performance

Agender EarthwormFacts About Queers (Humor), Fuck Yeah Non-Binary SeahorseGenderqueer ChatGendercast: Our Transmasculine GenderqueeryGenderqueer GiraffeGender QueeriesKreative Korporation: Yay genderform! (a comprehensive and fun-to-play-with list of gender, sex, orientation, and more identities), Midwest Genderqueerregender: A Different Kind of TranslatorTrans Parrotfish

Education

Gender Diversity ProjectGender Spectrum: ResourcesQueer Teaching TipsSafe Schools CoalitionTRANScending Identities: A Bibliography of Resources on Transgender and Intersex TopicsTrans What?: A Guide Towards Allyship

Sex EdClick here for a list

The Trevor Project: “The leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services” to LGBT youth: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) Also available for matters of less pressing urgency, Dear Trevor is an “online, non-time sensitive Question & Answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.” A directory of previous questions in the category of Transgender/Genderqueer is also available.

Social Media

Click here for a list of social media with options apart from male and female, as well as scripts to alter options on websites that don’t provide these options by default

Fashion and Transitional GearClick here for a list

Banner:This Journal is Gay/Lesbian, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Intersex, Genderqueer, Asexual Positive banner (with flags). Designed by Neth Dugan.

     Books: 

Note: Use Worldcat.org, the world’s largest global library catalog, to see if the book you’re seeking is available at a library near you or click the links below to be directed to an Amazon purchase link (when available).

The Gender Book - Mel Reiff Hill and Jay Mays

Gender Now Coloring Book - Maya Christina Gonzales

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us - Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation - Kate Bornstein

Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws - Kate Bornstein

My New Gender Workbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving World Peace Through Gender Anarchy and Sex Positivity - Kate Bornstein

Books and essays by Ivan Coyote

Grrl Alex: A Personal Journey to a Transgender Identity - Alex Drummond

GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary - Joan Nestle, Riki Wilchins, Clare Howell

Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity - Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality - Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel

Queer Theory, Gender Theory - Riki Anne Wilchins

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender - Riki Anne Wilchins

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves (in-progress) - Laura Erickson-Schroth

whatever.odt (free!) - JD O’Meara

Feeling Wrong in Your Own Body: Understanding What It Means to Be Transgender - Jamie A. Seba

That’s Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation - Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men - Lori B. Girshick and Jamison Green

Transition and Beyond: Observations on Gender Identity - Reid Vanderburgh

(Looking for a list of books concerning gender, sex, and orientation that aren’t genderqueer specific instead? Click here)

Book lists compiled by others:

Bibliography of Books Concerning Androgynes and Androgyny

Booklist for Trans Youth on Goodreads

Genderqueer Chicago on Goodreads

Made another update after many months since the last, removing broken links and adding some new resources!

Posted 4 days ago by marilynroxie.
+ ITS A BOOK! The GENDER book shower
5/4/2014 7-9pm at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco
Join us for an evening of games, giveaways, activities, coloring book pages, Q&A with the creators, art, movies, and community magic celebrating the birth of the GENDER book into the world.
WHEN: Sunday May 4th, 7-9 pm
WHERE the Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St, San Francisco
WHO: You! everyone! This is an all-gender, all-ages event, though you should have a parent to keep you away from some of the off-limits reading material if you’re under 18.
WHAT: A launch party full of fun, games, and time to mingle and get your books signed!
WHY: We saw the need for greater gender understanding in our worlds and wanted to do something about it. Thus, the GENDER book was born as a guerrilla education tool.   We’ve been incubating this project for the past five years. It started as a  6-page booklet, and with the community support of hundreds of your voices it has blossomed into a beautiful 90-page full color hardback. Come celebrate our progress and be the first on your block to get a copy!
HOW MUCH? Suggested donation $5, but no one turned away for lack of funds. Bring $30 if you want to take home your own copy of the GENDER book.
http://www.thegenderbook.com/ - Facebook - Twitter - Tumblr

ITS A BOOK! The GENDER book shower

5/4/2014 7-9pm at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco

Join us for an evening of games, giveaways, activities, coloring book pages, Q&A with the creators, art, movies, and community magic celebrating the birth of the GENDER book into the world.

WHEN: Sunday May 4th, 7-9 pm

WHERE the Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St, San Francisco

WHO: You! everyone! This is an all-gender, all-ages event, though you should have a parent to keep you away from some of the off-limits reading material if you’re under 18.

WHAT: A launch party full of fun, games, and time to mingle and get your books signed!

WHY: We saw the need for greater gender understanding in our worlds and wanted to do something about it. Thus, the GENDER book was born as a guerrilla education tool.   We’ve been incubating this project for the past five years. It started as a  6-page booklet, and with the community support of hundreds of your voices it has blossomed into a beautiful 90-page full color hardback. Come celebrate our progress and be the first on your block to get a copy!

HOW MUCH? Suggested donation $5, but no one turned away for lack of funds. Bring $30 if you want to take home your own copy of the GENDER book.

http://www.thegenderbook.com/ - Facebook - Twitter - Tumblr

+ moderntimesbookstore:

Modern Times Bookstore Collective is hiring an Events Coordinator!
Modern Times is the West Coast’s oldest collectively-run independent bookstore and a proud member of the Network of Bay Area Worker Cooperatives and the Northern California Independent Bookseller’s Association. We are celebrating our 43rd year of book selling and rabble-rousing and carry a wide range of new and used books, including books in Spanish, host diverse community events, and maintain relationships with many progressive local organizations.
The Events Coordinator is a part-time, unbenefited position that starts at $10.74/hr, 12-16 hours per week. The Events Coordinator is eligible to potentially become a Modern Times Collective Member in the future. The Events Coordinator will work with a volunteer Events Committee to create unique, diverse and ongoing events for the Bookstore.
Primary Responsibilities Include:
•       booking and promoting in-store and off-site author readings, classes and events
•       responding to requests for events and pro-actively creating diverse events with authors, publishers, publicists, bookbuyers, catalogues, political organizations and communities; obtaining promotional materials
•       publicizing events through monthly calendar, press releases for print and online media, email lists, websites, social media and targeted outreach to organizations and businesses
•       designing ads and bimonthly newsletter
•       overseeing Web content
•       maintaining email outreach list
•       coordinating window displays highlighting events
•       arranging for event setup at MT
•       other tasks as assigned by MT collective and steering committee
Required Qualifications:
•       bookstore love and knowledge
•       events coordination and organization
•       experience and commitment to working collectively and with a wide range of individuals, including volunteers
•       commitment to local community and social/racial/economic justice
•       excellent verbal and written skills
•       self-directed with strong time management skills
•       attention to detail, flexibility; accountability; timeliness; sense of humor
•       computer literacy, particularly with social media, Adobe Photoshop, InDesign, Mailchimp, Google Docs and Calendar
Desired Qualifications:
•       bookstore experience
•       familiarity with publicity and marketing protocols
•       retail/sales/shipping/inventory management; customer service
•       bilingual (Spanish/English)
•       HTML and CSS content creation/troubleshooting on Wordpress
•       email newsletter management with Mailchimp
•       direct relationships with local authors and community/political organizations
•       knowledge of current political landscape
•       willingness to work at the Bookstore’s front desk
•       interest in potentially becoming a MT collective member
Modern Times Bookstore Collective is located in the heart of SF’s Mission District, 2919 24th Street, SF 94110. We are open Monday-Saturday 11:00 – 9:00 and Sunday 11:00 – 8:00. To Apply: Please send cover letter and resume to apply.moderntimes@gmail.com by April 25, 2014. No phone calls please. Start Date: May (specific date TBD). We strongly encourage applications from those who identify as trans, gender queer, queer, people of color or women.

moderntimesbookstore:

Modern Times Bookstore Collective is hiring an Events Coordinator!

Modern Times is the West Coast’s oldest collectively-run independent bookstore and a proud member of the Network of Bay Area Worker Cooperatives and the Northern California Independent Bookseller’s Association. We are celebrating our 43rd year of book selling and rabble-rousing and carry a wide range of new and used books, including books in Spanish, host diverse community events, and maintain relationships with many progressive local organizations.

The Events Coordinator is a part-time, unbenefited position that starts at $10.74/hr, 12-16 hours per week. The Events Coordinator is eligible to potentially become a Modern Times Collective Member in the future. The Events Coordinator will work with a volunteer Events Committee to create unique, diverse and ongoing events for the Bookstore.

Primary Responsibilities Include:

•       booking and promoting in-store and off-site author readings, classes and events

•       responding to requests for events and pro-actively creating diverse events with authors, publishers, publicists, bookbuyers, catalogues, political organizations and communities; obtaining promotional materials

•       publicizing events through monthly calendar, press releases for print and online media, email lists, websites, social media and targeted outreach to organizations and businesses

•       designing ads and bimonthly newsletter

•       overseeing Web content

•       maintaining email outreach list

•       coordinating window displays highlighting events

•       arranging for event setup at MT

•       other tasks as assigned by MT collective and steering committee

Required Qualifications:

•       bookstore love and knowledge

•       events coordination and organization

•       experience and commitment to working collectively and with a wide range of individuals, including volunteers

•       commitment to local community and social/racial/economic justice

•       excellent verbal and written skills

•       self-directed with strong time management skills

•       attention to detail, flexibility; accountability; timeliness; sense of humor

•       computer literacy, particularly with social media, Adobe Photoshop, InDesign, Mailchimp, Google Docs and Calendar

Desired Qualifications:

•       bookstore experience

•       familiarity with publicity and marketing protocols

•       retail/sales/shipping/inventory management; customer service

•       bilingual (Spanish/English)

•       HTML and CSS content creation/troubleshooting on Wordpress

•       email newsletter management with Mailchimp

•       direct relationships with local authors and community/political organizations

•       knowledge of current political landscape

•       willingness to work at the Bookstore’s front desk

•       interest in potentially becoming a MT collective member

Modern Times Bookstore Collective is located in the heart of SF’s Mission District, 2919 24th Street, SF 94110. We are open Monday-Saturday 11:00 – 9:00 and Sunday 11:00 – 8:00. To Apply: Please send cover letter and resume to apply.moderntimes@gmail.com by April 25, 2014. No phone calls please. Start Date: May (specific date TBD). We strongly encourage applications from those who identify as trans, gender queer, queer, people of color or women.

Posted 1 week ago by marilynroxie.
5000 Followers!

Hello folks,

I apologize for the extended hiatus this blog is on, as I’ve been focusing on working and a variety of projects. I clicked to the GQID tab on my dashboard and noticed that this site has passed 5000 followers. Wow! Thank you all so much for the interest and support. I will make an effort to post updates more frequently than every now and again. Unfortunately I no longer have the time to answer every question that comes in, but I will note that many of them are the same or similar to previously asked questions, so clearly the FAQ needs some updating.

~Marilyn

Posted 2 weeks ago by marilynroxie.
+ moderntimesbookstore:

Excellent reads across the gender spectrum available at Modern Times

moderntimesbookstore:

Excellent reads across the gender spectrum available at Modern Times

Posted 1 month ago by marilynroxie.

Here’s how to edit your gender on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/help/276177272409629

Great news! I would like to note that one may currently only select identities Facebook lists as genders in the custom box (and you may select more than one!) and that she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs are the pronouns selectable. A friend tried this out and had to switch to Facebook (US) to get it to work; I am hoping it will shift to all country / language settings soon. I’d love to also see the addition of writing in whatever you like, as well and I’d recommend that people reach out to Facebook Diversity for suggestions.

Here are the genders that Facebook offers as selections - let me know if I missed any and I will update the post to include them:

Agender, Androgyne, Androgynous, Bigender, Cis (or Cisgender, for all Cis options), Cis Female, Cis Male, Cis Man, Cis Woman, FTM, Gender Fluid, Gender Nonconforming, Genderqueer, Gender Questioning, Gender Variant, Intersex, Male to Female, MTF, Neither, Neutrois, Other, Non-binary, Pangender, Trans (Trans*, Transgender, and Transsexual are available, for all Trans options), Trans Female, Transfeminine, Trans Male, Trans Man, Transmasculine, Trans Person, Trans Woman, Two-spirit

SFSI Seminars: Sex Education Career Panel

sfsi:

Feb 25, 2014 8:00 PM - 10.00 PM

Get Tickets ($15): http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/581214

Center for Sex and Culture

1349 Mission Street San Francisco, CA 94103

Join SFSI Seminars for a sex education career panel!

This seminar’s goal is to present diverse perspectives on how sex education can play an integral and rewarding role in your career. Our panel will include sex educators working in the public sphere and on school campuses, a sex therapist, a nurse, and more. The panel’s speakers will share their words of wisdom and answer all of your pressing questions!

Tickets are now available for SFSI Seminar’s Sex Education Career Panel. We’re excited to bring together this diverse group for your benefit, and we recommend that you reserve your seat now!

Our panel will feature:
Carol Queen
Charlie Glickman
Jen Devine
SFSI’s own Yvonne Piper
and more!

About SFSI Seminars:

Ever wanted to learn more about how to teach or work with a certain topic, but can’t find the right workshop? Sex educators, therapists, and health field professionals work with a constantly evolving body of knowledge. Join SFSI for a night of education on and exploration of a certain topic, led by a specialist in the field. Never stop learning!

Posted 2 months ago by marilynroxie. Tagged with Show all posts tagged with "events".events, .
News Update

Hello everyone,

There are over 100 unanswered questions in the queue and I would like to get to as many as I can, so I will close down the ask box for now and slowly go through these. I also realize I need to revise the FAQ page since some questions that I get have been answered previously.

I recently began working and am getting a number of other projects underway. I am in the process of determining what direction to go with this site. Stay tuned!

~Marilyn

Posted 2 months ago by marilynroxie. Tagged with Show all posts tagged with "news".news, .

gqid:

PLEDGE TO SUPPORT MODERN TIMES BOOKSTORE ON INDIEGOGO

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-modern-times-books

Campaign ends January 24th, 2014. This campaign will receive all funds raised even if it does not reach its goal.

Modern Times in San Francisco is where I work. It is a wonderful resource for materials on gender, sex, and sexuality, politics, language, zines, alternative culture, and much more. Collective member Ruth Mahaney at Modern Times is also a professor at City College of San Francisco. Her Intro to LGBT Studies class I took back in fall 2010 is what helped set me on the path to studying LGBT Studies as a major and sparked my interest into the arena of academia and activism - it was no longer just personal for me.

If you can, please support this amazing resource by pledging to this campaign. You can also visit Modern Times at http://moderntimesbookstore.com/ and 2919 24th St in San Francisco.

~Marilyn Roxie

6 hours remain and Modern Times is almost over 10k - let’s push it, folks!! Thank you so much for your support.

Posted 2 months ago by marilynroxie.

gqid:

PLEDGE TO SUPPORT MODERN TIMES BOOKSTORE ON INDIEGOGO

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-modern-times-books

Campaign ends January 24th, 2014. This campaign will receive all funds raised even if it does not reach its goal.

Modern Times in San Francisco is where I work. It is a wonderful resource for materials on gender, sex, and sexuality, politics, language, zines, alternative culture, and much more. Collective member Ruth Mahaney at Modern Times is also a professor at City College of San Francisco. Her Intro to LGBT Studies class I took back in fall 2010 is what helped set me on the path to studying LGBT Studies as a major and sparked my interest into the arena of academia and activism - it was no longer just personal for me.

If you can, please support this amazing resource by pledging to this campaign. You can also visit Modern Times at http://moderntimesbookstore.com/ and 2919 24th St in San Francisco.

~Marilyn Roxie

40 hours remain to pledge. Nearly at 10k now. Please support this wonderful resource if you can.

Posted 2 months ago by marilynroxie.

PLEDGE TO SUPPORT MODERN TIMES BOOKSTORE ON INDIEGOGO

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-modern-times-books

Campaign ends January 24th, 2014. This campaign will receive all funds raised even if it does not reach its goal.

Modern Times in San Francisco is where I work. It is a wonderful resource for materials on gender, sex, and sexuality, politics, language, zines, alternative culture, and much more. Collective member Ruth Mahaney at Modern Times is also a professor at City College of San Francisco. Her Intro to LGBT Studies class I took back in fall 2010 is what helped set me on the path to studying LGBT Studies as a major and sparked my interest into the arena of academia and activism - it was no longer just personal for me.

If you can, please support this amazing resource by pledging to this campaign. You can also visit Modern Times at http://moderntimesbookstore.com/ and 2919 24th St in San Francisco.

~Marilyn Roxie

"I just saw a gender therapist for the first time. It was a lot different than I expected in a good way. I could cuss out all my feelings and the doc understood there is more than JUST the two genders. Crossing fingers it stays this good. #goodnews" by Anonymous

That’s fabulous! I was happy to find a therapist that understands this as well and who is willing to listen and explore new ideas.

~Marilyn

Posted 3 months ago by marilynroxie.
"Is it weird that though I am biologically female and identify as agender, I want to go by male pronouns?" by Anonymous

thisismyblogagain:

jadelyn:

thisismyblogagain:

gqid:

thisismyblogagain:

gqid:

People have a variety of different reasons for wanting to go by particular pronouns. For some people, going with something other than what they know they are not comfortable with feels comforting (for example, I thought of myself as ‘not-woman’ before coming up with a more nuanced understanding of my identity). He/him/his and she/her/hers are not uncommon pronoun preferences in the genderqueer and non-binary community (check out this survey’s results on pronoun preferences for more details).

Anon, do you have dysphoria? If you don’t, you’re not agender.

What pronouns you use is irrelevant.

You’re agender if you have dysphoria and want to have no genitalia.

There is no such thing as mind gender. Also, the way you dress, what pronouns you use, your interests and hobbies or how you act or your personality are not part of your gender.

The asker of this question mentioned nothing about dysphoria or “mind gender”, so I am not sure why you are adding this in here. Many people are concerned about whether certain identities or certain routes they take around becoming comfortable with themselves are okay because society gives some mixed messages around gender, so there is nothing the matter with anon’s question or any questions concerning presentation or other facets that people associate with gender identity.

The approach I come at the questions I receive with is that gender has biological, psychological, and social elements and that attempting to pull them apart in order to question someone’s identity is frustrating in the least and silencing and oppressive at worst. Having theories about what gender and sex are is one thing and can be an interesting and useful pursuit to better understand these concepts, but prescribing what someone is or is not out of the blue like this, jumping on a question that concerns a very common topic of interest among trans*, genderqueer, and non-binary people is likely not going to be very enlightening to most folks.

You should close you blog off if you can’t tell three simple sentences to anyone who is confused about their gender.

1. Do you experience dysphoria? If you don’t you’re cisgender.

2. Do you want to have no genitalia? You’re agender.

3. Do you want to have both a penis and a vagina? You’re bigender.

IF SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE DYSPHORIA, THEY’RE NOT TRANS.

…wow look at this motherfucker who has no fucking idea what the hell they’re talking about.

Please.  For everyone’s sake.  Stop talking.  You’re making a complete fool of yourself and it’s really actually kind of painful to watch.

But I’m right. If you don’t have dysphoria, you are cis and don’t belong in a minority’s community. It’s that simple. Stop being so over-inclusive. Gender isn’t some joke or cute thing you want to be. It’s what you are.

Gender  is not gender roles, how you dress or what you like. If that were true, many people would be genderqueer, when in fact, they’re not. The “queer theory” everyone vomits around is indeed bullshit. 

What I am saying is the truth. Don’t ignore it because you cannot ignore your fucking feelings. Accept the truth. Even if it hurts your poor snowflake self.

I don’t think gender is a joke and I do think that words like gender and identity terms have meaning. Gender is not equivalent to just gender roles or just gender presentation, but for many people the two can be facets of how someone may want to communicate gender or other aspects of themselves for their own comfort and to the world. Gender stereotypes are harmful. Mindful expression of identity (whether you call it gender or some other aspect of the self and personality) through means such as body modification, items like breast forms, binders, gaffs, and packers, and fashion are not inherently harmful and can be very empowering.

I have dysphoria myself, such severe chest dysphoria that I have self-harmed in this area for many years now and am only just now on the road to stopping. Dysphoria is a very common narrative, probably the most common of all, in trans*, genderqueer, and non-binary communities because an issue is often in not having the desired body attributes or parts. Some people have lessening dysphoria over time or learn to see their bodies in a transformative light that helps them feel more comfortable. Some people don’t.

My dysphoria was at a nightmarish level in my late teens and now it is less so (apart from that one area), so it has changed over time for me. I have rarely talked to any trans* person who has had a constant, never changing level of dysphoria or self-image. This is more often true for people who have known how they identified in this regard since they were very young than for people who explore their identities when they are older and does not describe every single person in these communities.

I don’t think identity should be taken lightly and hope that everyone who questions their gender or sex identity does so mindfully and with seriousness and without co-opting the experiences of people who they are not actually like at all. Sweeping generalizations in an area as multi-faceted as gender or sex are not particularly helpful, though. Anon asked a reasonable question on a common topic that was not worth derailing to further your own agenda.

Here I aim to make a space where people are free to explore and question gender. [I never tell someone exactly how they identify / how they should identify but rather give suggestions for possibilities to consider, because I’m not in their head or body and can’t know all of the details, especially in the limited space that people have to ask questions here] Name-calling, prescriptivism, and derailment don’t make for a very safe space and people in this community often need quite a bit of safety and reassurance. This is my last reblog of this thread as I have said all I have to say on the subject and stand firm.

Posted 3 months ago by marilynroxie.
"Is it weird that though I am biologically female and identify as agender, I want to go by male pronouns?" by Anonymous

thisismyblogagain:

gqid:

People have a variety of different reasons for wanting to go by particular pronouns. For some people, going with something other than what they know they are not comfortable with feels comforting (for example, I thought of myself as ‘not-woman’ before coming up with a more nuanced understanding of my identity). He/him/his and she/her/hers are not uncommon pronoun preferences in the genderqueer and non-binary community (check out this survey’s results on pronoun preferences for more details).

Anon, do you have dysphoria? If you don’t, you’re not agender.

What pronouns you use is irrelevant.

You’re agender if you have dysphoria and want to have no genitalia.

There is no such thing as mind gender. Also, the way you dress, what pronouns you use, your interests and hobbies or how you act or your personality are not part of your gender.

The asker of this question mentioned nothing about dysphoria or “mind gender”, so I am not sure why you are adding this in here. Many people are concerned about whether certain identities or certain routes they take around becoming comfortable with themselves are okay because society gives some mixed messages around gender, so there is nothing the matter with anon’s question or any questions concerning presentation or other facets that people associate with gender identity.

The approach I come at the questions I receive with is that gender has biological, psychological, and social elements and that attempting to pull them apart in order to question someone’s identity is frustrating in the least and silencing and oppressive at worst. Having theories about what gender and sex are is one thing and can be an interesting and useful pursuit to better understand these concepts, but prescribing what someone is or is not out of the blue like this, jumping on a question that concerns a very common topic of interest among trans*, genderqueer, and non-binary people is likely not going to be very enlightening to most folks.

Posted 3 months ago by marilynroxie.
"I'm okay with being AFAB. To be honest, I really couldn't give a shit whether I am female or not. I wear constant gender-neutral clothing, and am pansexual. Can I consider myself genderqueer? I just feel strange because a lot of the community have problems with their body, but I don't." by Anonymous

Dysphoria is a common theme, but it is certainly not a requirement for identifying as genderqueer. Check out this recent post for more on why. There are many GQ folks that are comfortable with their bodies or even their sex assignment, just as there are many who are not or are working on ways to become more comfortable.  ~Marilyn