Last updated August 24, 2011.
Background on the Survey:
Responses collected from 8/23/2010 to 12/3/2010. Survey link and details were posted across Tumblr, Livejournal, and Laura’s Playground.
Total respondents: 137. 106 out of the 137 respondents checked a box at the end of the survey giving “permission for GQIS reports to potentially quote excerpts (anonymous attribution) from your paragraph/s text entries”; some of this material will be quoted on this page in the EXCERPTS section towards the bottom of this page.
This survey had been created with the purpose of collecting data on genderqueer identities and orientation. I am referring to it as a ‘genderqueer’ survey because there are many boxes that can be checked for a variety of identities under the GQ umbrella, though one’s individual composite of identities is going to vary. Anyone of any gender identity and orientation could take the survey, though I was particularly looking for those who identify themselves as genderqueer in some way, as well as from partners of GQ individuals.
STATISTICS FROM THE SURVEY:
1) Basic Info / Sex / Gender Identity / Orientation
AGE:
131 respondents listed an age, the average age being 23, the median and mode at 21. Youngest respondent was 13, oldest was 60.
COUNTRY:
131 respondents listed a country. Residency statistics: USA (80), UK (14), Germany (9), Australia (7), Canada (6), New Zealand (2), Austria (2), Denmark (2), Finland (1), Belgium ( 1), Singapore (1), Netherlands (1), Norway (1), China (1), Sweden (1)
BIRTH SEX:
It had been suggested elsewhere that this section be called something other than ‘birth sex’, as there was concern about sex being equated with gender, giving prevalence to cisgender / cissexual privilege, etc., but that was not my intention with this question. It would have perhaps been better to have choices like ‘assigned female at birth’ and ‘assigned male at birth’, which are of course not at all the same as identifying gender-wise as ‘female’ and ‘male’! Chances are if you’re visiting this community, you’re already familiar with the concept that physical sex need not determine gender in the slightest, though there often is an interplay or at least something about a lived experience as this or that physical sex that may inform your own gender and/or sexuality, social perceptions and so on.
Male 19 14%
Female 113 82%
Intersex 0 0%
Prefer not to state 4 3%
Other 1 1%
GENDER IDENTITY:
In retrospect, I would’ve included “man” and “woman” as gender identity options, instead of male and female, which could be considered sex (as assigned at birth) or sex identity (how one sees one’s own body).
Male 25 18%
Female 48 35%
Bigender 28 20%
Trigender 17 12%
Trans man 20 15%
Trans woman 8 6%
Pangender 26 19%
Genderqueer 78 57%
Androgyne 51 37%
Neutrois (non-gendered) 17 12%
Questioning / unsure 37 27%
Other 26 19%
People may select more than one checkbox, so percentages may add up to more than 100%.
SEXUAL IDENTITY:
Heterosexual 21 15%
Homosexual 20 15%
Androphilic 38 28%
Gynephilic 27 20%
Asexual 14 10%
Bisexual 32 23%
Pansexual 62 45%
Girlfag 57 42%
Guydyke 7 5%
Queer 65 47%
Polyamorous 28 20%
Questioning / unsure 18 13%
Other 26 19%
People may select more than one checkbox, so percentages may add up to more than 100%.
TRAITS:
Masculine 42 31%
Feminine 65 47%
Androgynous / Blended 102 74%
Neutral 38 28%
Other 9 7%
People may select more than one checkbox, so percentages may add up to more than 100%.
PREFERRED PRONOUNS:
Masculine (Him / He / His) 49 37%
Feminine (She / Her / Hers) 73 55%
Neutral (Them / They / Theirs) 53 40%
Invented pronouns (Zi / Hir / other possibilities) 22 17%
People may select more than one checkbox, so percentages may add up to more than 100%.
2) Personal Apperance
Do you wear make-up?:
Often 33 24%
Rarely 43 31%
Almost never / absolutely never 54 39%
No, but I might try 6 4%
3) Your Relationships
ROMANTIC STATUS:
Single 77 56%
Dating 7 5%
Monogamous Relationship 23 17%
Polyamorous Relationship 8 6%
Engaged 1 1%
Married 7 5%
Other 14 10%
4) Turn-Ons - Potential Partners
Preferences in sex and/or gender/s and/orientation/s of partner:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words like to, and, of) and their counts: male (58), bi (39), female (29), gay (25), straight (12), pansexual (11), genderqueer (9), lesbian (9), man (8), polyamorous (8)
Preferences in the body of the partner:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words) and their counts: hair (73), build 28), body (27), eyes (22), slender (21), feminine (20), men (19), medium (19), hands (19), hips (17)
Preferences in fashion of partner:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words like to, and, of) and their counts: dress (25), clothes (16), style (14), fashion (14), jeans (13), wear (13), casual (12), clothing (10), cross-dress (10), love (9)
Preferences in personality traits, talents, and/or hobbies of partner:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words like to, and, of) and their counts: sensitive (27), humor (26), music (24), intelligent (19), funny (18), dominant (11), creative (10) open (9), musician (9), smart (8)
5) Turn-Ons - Fantasy + Pornography (Film / Images) + Erotica
MEDIUMS OF AROUSAL:
Erotic fantasizing (your own) 108 89%
Erotic writing or drawing (your own) 56 46%
Nude photography 53 43%
Pornographic films 48 39%
On-line videos (i.e. XTube, GayTube) 80 66%
Porn magazines 21 17%
Erotic art 51 42%
Erotic literature (books, poetry, plays) 84 69%
Erotic comics (sexually explicit comics, yaoi, yuri, hentai) 62 51%
Erotic fanfiction (het, slash, fantasy fic) 67 55%
Other 29 24%
People may select more than one checkbox, so percentages may add up to more than 100%
Preferences in sexual orientation and situation / theme of subject/s:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words) and their counts: sex (68), male (48), female (25), anal (25), men (22), oral (18), masturbation (18), threesomes (14), gay (14), male/male (12)
Preferences in touching, and any body part and hair fetishization or kinks:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words) and their counts: kissing (35), cuddling (21), massage (13), love (10), hair (9), ass (9), touch (8), neck (7), spanking (7), bulge (6)
6) Turn-ons - Personal [data analysis pending for some of the following]
How often do you masturbate?
Often (daily or weekly basis) 90 66%
Rarely (monthly or longer) 16 12%
Almost never / absolutely never 6 4%
Other 25 18%
Do you look at or read one or more of the mediums of arousal you marked in section 5 while getting off?
Often 65 47%
Rarely 30 22%
Almost never / absolutely never 24 18%
Use of fingers and hands when getting off?
Often 90 66%
Rarely 15 11%
Almost never / absolutely never 13 9%
Thinking yourself off / willing yourself to orgasm?
Often 32 23%
Rarely 39 28%
Almost never / absolutely never 45 33%
Use of sex toys in getting off?
Often 40 29%
Rarely 28 20%
Almost never / absolutely never 49 36%
Common sources of fantasy:
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words) and their counts: partner (16), characters (14), celebrities (11), porn (7), books (7), mind (6), online (6), sex (6), fictional (5), websites (5)
Describe your preferences in sexual activity with a partner/s, however you wish.
Ten most frequent words (excluding common words) and their counts: oral (39), sex (39), giving (37), receiving (29), dominant (23), partner (21), enjoy (16), anal (15), submissive (15), top (9)
EXCERPTS:
Only those marked with genderqueer and ‘Permission granted!’ will be posted here.
Q: Have you had any experiences of gender identity disorder / gender dysphoria or felt pressure to conform to gender roles?
J., 21: Lots of confusion in this department. Have felt pressure to be male before I ID’d as trans, then felt pressure to be female before I ID’d as genderqueer/pangendered. I also feel quite frustrated about how I am perceived and feel people relate to me based on my body.
M., 16: When I was little, I sometimes wanted everyone to think I was a boy (though I didn’t really want to be a boy) and other times I’d be the first to grab the prettiest princess dress, depending on the situation. When I’m making out with a boy, I’m only turned on if I’m pretending to be a boy. And, like any other good feminist, I’ve rejected the “get married, make babies, bake cookies” role my mom and other conformists have tried to force me into. And, just like every other brave pan/bi girl, I’ve rejected the hetero/homocentric nature of our culture. I think I might be a bi/pansexual man in a woman’s body, but I’m not sure, so I call myself genderqueer.
L., 20: Well, I have trouble with gender roles, and what gender identity fits me, because I love my female body, but I don’t feel like “woman” should define me, or stop me doing things that are “man” things. It could be sexism, or it could be elements of gender, and I just don’t know which.
E., 22: My current frustration lies in being attracted to straight women. I don’t want to be labled as a lesbian, but that doesn’t seem to make sense to anyone because I’m not trans. I do prefer the male pronouns, but haven’t asked anyone to use them because it feels socially awkward.
J., 21: Yes to both. There is tremendous pressure to conform to gender roles, in and outside the trans* community. It, as well as the general lack of any third, fourth, or even flexible options, has caused a lot of social gender dysphoria for me. Even now, I tend to conform to some degree with transmen and mimicking the male culture. It’s tough.
Q: Fashion?
R., 18: Some days I dress like a boy, Some days I dress like a girl. Most of my clothes are kind of alternative.
D., 15: Can easily pick out male clothes to wear, has trouble picking out female clothes. Hates dresses, skirts, tights, make-up, heels. Would rather wear suits, ties, pants.
L., 47: I mostly dress in casual jeans-and-T-shirt styles, favoring colorful shirts. My favorite store to buy shirts was a lovely gay men’s store in West Hollywood — until it closed. I never NEVER wear dresses unless I’m in costume (performing in a show or other unusual special circumstance). I would never wear a dress to work.
F., 19: I would like to firmly state that I am not a “cross dresser.” I don’t know why, but something about that term just sets me off. It’s almost never used in good context when describing people when I hear it. One meaning for the word cross is also angry, and when I dress how I want I am definitely not angrily-dressed, and in fact I can be quite happy dressed in guyish clothes so I am not a CROSS dresser. It also makes it sound like I’m dressing across to the other side of my gender when in truth my gender is here there everywhere or whatever and not stuck in one place like a lot of people may assume.
C., 23 : Because I’m cursed (most would say blessed) with a perfect hourglass figure, I find it hard to pull off the more androgynous or borderline masculine styles I would like. So I tend to wear jeans and fitted tees, or if I dress up, nice slacks and heeled boots with relatively feminine blouses that flatter my body. If I can’t yet look good as an androgyne because of money and my physical body, I’m sure as hell going to try and look good with what I’ve got! (laugh)
Q: Are you comfortable in the body you were born with? Why or why not?
E., 17: I am comfortable with my personality and identity (not including gender identity), but I am frequently ‘grossed out’ by my female genitals, whilst still loving my breasts. I often wish I had a penis, and breasts. Idk.
V., 25: Yes and no. My dream come true would be to be able to switch genders at will. I’m comfortable in my female body, but I have phases when I really wish I’d been born as a guy because I feel I would probably feel exactly the same as a man; I’d be comfortable in the body but sometimes wish I could be a girl for a day or two.
R., 18: I like my girl body. It is a nice girl body. Sometimes I wish I had a penis, but I love my vagina too so I don’t think I will ever have bottom surgery or anything like that. I will just have to make do with packers and strap ons. I feel the same way about my boobs. I love them but some days I wish I could take them off for the day.
L., 21: Yes, though I am nervous about allowing my body-hair to grow unhindered…The body I was born with grows hair. Society tells me females bodies should not have any or much hair.
D., 19: If I could have a flat chest with a barbie-smooth crotch, that would be awesome. However, nature gave me a female body, so here I am feeling out of touch with boys and girls alike. I feel like an alien in a borrowed body, and for most of my life I’ve stealthily been trying to act how this body dictates I act. Only in recent months have I tried out the idea of changing the body and appearance to better suit the aliens needs. Only in changing myself do I feel more like myself.
Q: I feel the sexiest when I…
S., 25: I never feel sexy. Why should I?
M., 25: When someone is attracted to me for exactly what I am, and not what they want me to be. I feel the sexiest when all norms and conventions are set aside and the attraction is just natural, inevitable and label-free. When I can just be and just feel.
C., 16: Dress like a guy and act like a guy, but do my hair and paint my nails.
D., 19: Feel like I look androgynous or male, wear boxer-briefs, think about what it would be like to if I had no genitalia, see pictures of myself that represent how I feel about myself.
J.., 17: get called sir or handsome. Or people confuse my gender.
Q: Would you consider yourself: naturally masculine and/or naturally feminine and/or naturally androgynous in appearance? Do you dress to complement or detract from this?
N., 23: I’m naturally androgynous in my top half and naturally feminine in my bottom half. I actually do compliment that by pairing very masculine clothes on top with very feminine clothes on the bottom when the mood strikes me.
K., 24: I would hope I’m naturally androgynous, but because I’m overweight, and my weight sits in very feminine places, it is hard for others to see me as such. I definitely dress to exentuate my masculinity.
T., 18: I think I’m naturally andgrogynous. I can remember when I was little I wouldn’t wear dresses, lace, or anything pink. As I grew up I would still wear more boys clothes or loose fitting clothes. It wasn’t until high school that I started wearing fitted shirts and stuff, sort of I guess when I started developing breasts. Now I wear my hair short and whatever clothes I want. Some days I feel more masculine and some days I feel feminine.
M., 38: I am very female in appearance, i.e. I would never be physically mistaken for a male. I used to buy men’s clothing because I felt more comfortable in it, but again, I could never actually be mistaken for a male. I buy women’s clothing now, but nothing too feminine. I just want to flatter my natural shape in comfortable clothes.
L., 21: I’m naturally… kind of androgynous I suppose. I’m your classic tomboy, the more I think about it. I dress comfortably, and I don’t think about gender traits when I get dressed. I think about what I will do that day, and what suits the occasion. I guess I try to be androgynous when I shop, buying a mix of masculine and feminine clothes.
Q: How do you express your gender and/or sexuality in your community?
S., 22: I’m taking classes on sexuality. I’m reading queer theory in my spare time. I always talk about sexuality when I’m drunk. I praise everything non-gender conformative in everyday life.
J., 21: I do as much trans*, genderqueer, and gender variant activism as I can, where I can. I’m active in my local LGBT community, and certainly speak up for the trans* people a lot. I talk freely with coworkers and friends who aren’t in-the-know, and I passively assert different ways of thinking about gender to just about anyone. Getting the brain wheels turning is probably the most important part.
A., 21: I don’t, really. I’m still somewhat in the closet, so I try not to make it an issue when it doesn’t have to be one.
A., 29: I wear my politics on my sleeve and being queer is part of that. While I don’t scream about it, I do talk about it if the situation arises. I attend a local social/support group for transgender people. I’m very open with the people I spend a lot of time with about what I’m going through, making sure they know I’m willing to answer any questions.
R., 21: Activism. Dating. Public genderfucking. Glitter beards. Etc.
Q: How do you express your gender and/or sexuality on-line?
J., 21: Reading genderqueer and trans blogs, (and occasionally commenting on them). Role-playing an androgynous hermaphroditic furry character.
M., 16: I’m slowly easing into being myself on forums, but it’s painfully hard and I’m afraid that other people will hate me. I’m especially afraid that transgender people with scorn me for not being sure about my gender identity and that gay men will hate me for being a girlfag and that all gays will hate me because I’m bi/pan.
E., 17: I talk to a few transgendered/bi/gay individuals. I post lots of male/male art, writing, fanfiction, etc. I am generally more open and sign up to sites under both male and female names.
L., 47: I’m out as a bisexual polyamorous girlfag online, particularly on LiveJournal.
C., 40: Very different life online, read everything i can find that relates to stuff outside the imposed binary. Look for a relationship interest that will accept someone like me, erotica is transgender exclusively …
Q: How do you express “romance”?
X., 20: love between two humans
T., 27: I love playing out kink, sex-positive, and butch/femme scripts for cruising, flirting, and hooking up. Both for new and existing partners.
N., 47: As a polyamorous person I tend to feel different levels (or styles) of “romance” for each different person I date. These levels vary from extremely romantic to casual romance-free connections.
F., 19: I draw the people I like.. It really shows that they’re in my head. It’s how I can tell I like someone too. How much I like them is in fact directly proportional to how often I draw them, draw me with them, and how good they look when I draw them. Because this guy I like, he bugged the shit out of me at first, so I drew him kind of ugly/dorky, but as time went I on I drew him cuter and nicer looking, and the funny thing is, I think he is starting to look better in real life, like he’s been working out or something. It’s the weirdest thing, but kind of cool.
J., 26: Shared respect, honesty, compassion. Gentle, supportive touch in times of stress. Unabashed roughness when desired. Talking until 3 am. Telling each other stories, hiking together in the forest, saying what we feel.
Q: Notes on ‘coming out’ / acceptance
J., 26: I am incredibly lucky to be in a relationship with someone who understands the ways that gender is complex and painful. He is incredibly brave, and every day he inspires me to live a more honest life.
S., 17: I have only come out to my friends, and they have been nothing but supportive of my thoughts and decisions. I love them to death because they have not looked at me any different. If anything, I would say that we have gotten so much closer.
J., 17: I was kicked out of my house but accepted by my activist friends.
C., 45: This is an odd one for me. In some ways, I am out to everyone as genderqueer. I see it as integrated with my personality, so just by being me I’m being genderqueer. Even when I’m wearing all boy clothes and acting in traditionally masculine roles (leading meetings at work, for example) people quickly know that I’m not like other guys. They may think I’m gay, I’m not saying that ll look at me and think “Oh, this person is gender variant” but they all pick up on it. And it is not really an issue. With family, from a very young age my dad used to tell me that I walk to the beat of a different drummer. So I’ve never had a coming out talk with them, but it’s like the gay person who would finally come out only to have the family say, yeah, we could tell. Being gender variant is my personality. In college I was very out, as an activist for the LGBT group, though I identified as bisexual at the time. I didn’t know about genderqueer back then, so I claimed bisexual as my identity. Everyone, for the most part, was fine with it. When I lived in rural Indiana and Illinois in my late 20s I did try to hide my gender and conform to traditional standards. It is a very close minded part of the country, and I think I was more uncomfortable with myself as well. (It was a bad time in my life, not only because I was living in rural Indiana.) Now, even when I am in conservative locations like Oklahoma, I’m just me.
L., 24: I don’t think that there is anything to come out about. The people that I care about and keep in my life understand me without me having to mention gender to them in any way.
